Da, da duh-duh, da duh-duh...
*cue our heroine striding bravely across the
our heroine: *clocks in*
female sales associate: "Ohio Kat, thank God! Oh, Buckeye, it's terrible..."
Buckeye: *thrives on all that is terrible (or, at least, tends to perform better under pressure)* "Whatever is it, Alice?"
Alice: "Black times are coming, Buckeye. It's--" dun, dun, dun "--Black Friday in a few days."
Buckeye: "This could be serious. I'd better find the Zone Manager for Consumables."
the ZM: *speaks supply and demand fluently but once got lost in her own storeroom* "Buckeye, there you are. Black Friday is approaching and we haven't started setting up yet. The natives are growing nervous. This is a terrible omen."
Buckeye: "Sorry, boss, but ancient supply lines and hokey purchasing formulas don't-- Oh, no, wait. I save the Hana Solo shtick for when I'm rebelling against authority."
ZM: *rolls her eyes* "We have three crates of bananas unaccounted for."
Buckeye: "Crates. Why did it have to be crates..."
ZM: "We're counting on you, Buckeye. You need to travel into the wilderness and recover the crates or terrible hardships will befall the natives."
Buckeye: "I'm on it." *ventures into the wilderness*
(and this is all just the food)
Buckeye: *never did find those damned crates, but still managed to be quite productive and prevent the famine*
the ZM: "Well done, Ohio Kat. Now beings your real challenge."
Buckeye: "Nazis? Communists? Thuggee cultists?"
the ZM: "Worse. It's time to start setting up for Black Friday."
Buckeye: "Dear God." *gulps* "The holy grail of retail shopping..."
the ZM: "It will take all of our cleverness and resolve to get out of this alive."
to be continued...